Tuesday, September 30, 2008 

Big Al's Bromantic Weekend Update

Here are the rough plans for the Big Al's Bromantic Dirty 30 Weekend October 17 to 19. Hopefully you can all make it.

Leaving from the South Bay in afternoon with anybody from the South Bay
Pit Stop at the original Big Al's House
V-towne folks can ride up with me. VJ may be leaving later, so I would check with him.
Maybe pick up Frenchy at some random airport along the way
Check in Harveys/Harrahs in South Lake Tahoe (we have 2 rooms right now, I can get more if you're fat)

Fun fun fun Minnesota Vikings style on the Lake

Pack up, kick the strippers out and get to V-towne by 2pm.
BBQ and huge meal at the original Big Al's House in V-towne (don't wear blue or red). Wives, girlfriends, sisters and mothers are welcome.
We all go on our merry ways

It's going to be a pretty chill weekend with nothing really planned. I have no intention to spend a lot of money here given the state of our world (read: this ain't no bachelor party so the dollar bills stay in yo' pocket unless you really want to put it down Frenchy's pants.) Please add anybody else that I may have forgotten. Thanks.

Monday, September 22, 2008 

Big Al's Bail Out Assistance Movement

With the fallout to many of America's top financial institutions such as Lehman Bros., AIG and WaMu, every man, woman and child will be responsible for about $2000 of government bailout assistance. BigAlsHouse.com would like to make that $4000 each.

I'd like to announce that BigAlsHouse.com will go into bankruptcy filing due to the $700 billion dollars in debt that we have amassed on luxury yachts, strippers, Herman Miller Aeron Chairs, stripper poles and Segway scooters. We'd like to protect all of our assets (porno), so if any government division, foreign or domestic, would like to bail out the BigAlsHouse.com please send pallets full of cash to me.

If Freddie and Fannie can get help, so can Big Al. We want to have the single largest bankruptcy filing ever! Support Big Al's Bail Out Assistance Movement!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 

Big Al's watches the Best

So it's been awhile since my alma mater won the 2006 section championship.  My Bruins never got the credit they deserved leading up to that game.  Their star player, Jahvid Best was all anybody was talking about.  It was a shocker that we won.

While most of the Bruin players that got all the glory that evening, they may never play another game.  There was one player on Salesian High  - Jahvid Best that continued to play on Saturdays at Cal and has a good shot at playing on Sundays.  Until then he has the following YouTube clip to keep him famous until he gets those NFL checks


Friday, September 12, 2008 

Big Al's showboats in his LastCut

Many of you youngins' did not have the privilege to watch Ricky Henderson during his glory years. He was often known for his uncanny ability to steal bases and hit lead off homeruns. He was also the T.O, Ocho Cinco or Usain Bolt of his time. Luckily for the members of The Last Cut softball team, they have their own homegrown showboater. Enter Big Al...

(Big Al is patrolling the outfield from chipmunks, squirrels and skunks.)

The Last Cut lost their last game on Wednesday 7-13 to Armed & Dangerous.  My speech before the game set the tone with a quick 4 run first inning, however we fizzled as the game went on.  We could have and should have won the game. I'll take a lot of the blame. I went 0-4, all being non-productive at-bats. Maybe it was because I was playing out of position. For one of the first times I played right field.
(Moments before the monster pop out.  I did get the opposing team's fans on their feet.)

The right fielder usually is the least talented defensive player. I single handedly undid that stereotype. In the bottom of the 6th inning, a high fly ball by the clean up hitter was hit to me. No problem. Can of corn. We were already losing, so I decided to do the Ricky Henderson snatch catch. I couldn't find any online video of it, but you can do a search for it and many website are pretty descriptive.  It's basically catching a simple fly ball with only your gloved hand and immediately and with authority bringing your arm down to your side.  It's like the Karate Kid wax on, wax off type of motion but down to your waist.  This showboating didn't sit too well with the batter.  I couldn't hear him from the outfield, but I knew he was jawing off at me.

(Team manager Teddy, Big Al, Mike, Joel, Shep, James, Eddie, Steve, Chris & Tik-tock.  We're #4!)

This last game also brought the retirement of Joel.  He's been playing softball for 30+ years, and he's decided to call it quits.  We'll have a bobblehead day in honor for him next year.

Now it's off to winter league in Venezuela or Mexico or Caracas.  I have to improve on my less than acceptable year at the plate.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008 

Big Al's Softball Speech

(Big Al taking it deep.)

Today Big Al's softball team is going to play game #3 of the 3 game series of the semi-final playoffs. We miraculous split last week's 2 games to force a decisive game #3. Nobody thought we'd be here today, but we are. In doing so, I've decided to write a speech as inspired by Independence Day. (Speech subject to change).

Good afternoon. In a few minutes, once everybody shows up, we’ll be embarking on one of the biggest games in the history of LastCut.

Last Cut -- that word should have new meaning for all of us today. It implies the end, going home, first one out, scratching our a$ in the off season, taking ballet lessons, having to go home to wife, etc.

This isn’t the last cut…. This is just the first cut.

I know I’ve been a hot head this year. Pumping up my stats, making you feel bad because my average is better than yours, and showing off my “tickets” or emphsizing the “M..E..” in TEAM. But that’s okay. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. Just because we’re fat, skinny… short or tall… white, brown or yellow… higher OBP or OBP…. can catch a ball or watch it go between our legs. We’re all the same today.

Yes, we’re the #4 seed. Yes, in the history of LastCut softball we’re 1-5 in the month of September. And yes, I bet Teddy that we’re going to lose by 10.. but who cares?

Perhaps its fate that today is the 10th of September, and there are 10 of us on the field and you will once again we will be fighting for our right to survive not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution -- but from elimination and from going home each Wednesday night to the wife.

And should we win today, the 10th of September will no longer be known as the day before September 11th, we will be known as “Cinderella” – a name that Teddy is very comfortable with.

Just remember, as the going gets tough.. when you’re out there by yourself alone. Think about the TEAM, and remember that there’s a “M" and "E" (you)… and a big “A” and “T” who’ll be making fun of you when you fail.

Thursday, September 04, 2008 

Big Al on Tour: The Big Al Bro-deo

Downturn in economy? Sheeyyaaatt! Ain't no thing like a chicken-wing.... on a string.

In addition to the Big Al Bromantic Weekend in Lake Tahoe on October 17-19, the Big Al tour will continue. With the overwhelming demand for the Big Al Bromantic Weekend, the staff at THE BigAlsHouse.com has added tour stop #2 with Big Al on Tour:  The Big Al Bro-deo in Las Vegas on December 7-9.

The Big Al on Tour:  The Big Al Bro-deo will feature 3 days and 2 nights in harsh winters of desert.  Activities include guy on guy spooning at the Tropicana Hotel, a evening with Thunder from Down Under and some TBA Man vs. Man boxing at the MGM Grand.

Contact THE BigAlsHouse.com official tour agency for specific details.  Hope to you see you at Big Al on Tour:  The Big Al Bro-deo.
(Featured performer of Big Al on Tour:  The Big Al Bro-deo in Las Vegas.)

Tuesday, September 02, 2008 

Big Al's House makes his friends famous

You see it on television programs like Kid's Incorporated and Nickelodeon where kid stars such as Justin or Britney or Christina get their start and then they later become mega superstars. BigAlsHouse.com is proud to be that starting point for his inner circle of friends and acquaintances. Although Ito isn't schmoozing with the likes of Paris or Mylee or Lindsay yet, he's getting exposure on the KTVU News at 5.

What wasn't mentioned on the newscast was, "I'm glad Google's Chrome will enhance my porn experience. Because Chrome isn't single threaded like traditional browsers, I can watch Jena on one screen and if that crashes I'll still be able to continue watching Tera on the other. Also, all of my sex toys are made of Chrome. Coincidence?"

(Ito's first appearance on the BigAlsHouse circa 2004. That's a little bit of Absolut, Jaeger and Whoop Ass!)