Friday, August 29, 2008 

Big Al is running.... for President

Much props to Teddy B. for giving me the inspiration to steal his ideas.

Friday, August 22, 2008 

Big Al's brings you an update on Wall-gate

The BANN wanted to give you an update to the recent car accident (aka Wall-gate) at THE Big Al's House.  According to the Big Al's House neighbor, the car was driven by a couple of young teenagers that were unlicensed and uninsured.  They decided to go cruising and they ended up jumping the curb and into the wall.  They fled the scene, and went home.  The suspects then called the police about 1 hour later to report the accident.  The police gave them a breathalyzer and they turned out clean.

They'll probably get a slap on the wrist, but they're mummies and diddies will be paying a nice fine for their joy riding adventure.  So when you have kids ask yourself, "It's 4am, do I know where my kid is?"  Probably at THE Big Al's House!


Tuesday, August 19, 2008 

Big Al salutes the 2008 Olympians

I'd like to thank all the people representing the USA at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games.  You've once again proved that despite all the stuff that I need to do in life, I can watch sports 24 hours a day for 2 weeks straight and still feel good.

(John Koncak aka John Contract with Big Al and Koncak junior showcasing the 1984 USA Basketball Gold medal.)

Big ups to Natalie Coughlin, St. Catherine's School alum.  Big ups to Michael Phelps for making me eagerly await an event that showcased half naked guys.

(Big Al and a 2006 Women's Hockey Silver medalist.  2nd place is the first loser!  Check out Santa Clause in the background.)

I'm almost 30 and I do see a few folks that are well up in age there like Dara Torres.  I'm glad they didn't drown because it would sucked to see that on NBC.  My post-30 Olympic dream is still alive.  Big Al - Underwater Basketweaving Gold Medalist 2012!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008 

Big Al's Bromantic Weekend Oct 17-19

The dirty 30 is coming up in less than 2 months and Big Al wants to invite you to the celebration:

What:  Big Al's Bromantic Weekend - a 3 day and 2 night man-cation where we can gather Big Al's friends for trust falls, bonding and team building... and gambling, and strippers and fishing and other nonsense.
Why:  Big Al's Dirty 30
Where:  South Lake Tahoe
When:  October 17-19, 2008

(Big Al's Bromantic Weekend - an event for all the bromantics in all of us.)

There are a few more details that I'm sorting out right now.  I'll put more information about the event on The including a F.A.Q. 

All of this is subject to change without notice.

Monday, August 11, 2008 

Big Al's News Network is on a car accident scene

"Hey bro, that was an awesome party!"
"Yeah, them hizzoz were off the hook."
"Man...  I should have gotten her digitz.  It's coo.  Next time."
"Yeah, foh shizzle.  One of them told me her name and told me to holla' at her, but I didn't want to get her number.  My choice.  She was just a hizzo.  A dime a dozen."
"Yeah...  I was just getting my swerve on anyways with a little Mad Dawg 20/20."
"Oh wait...  what's that?"
"Huh?  Oh shit!"
SCREECH...  BUMP...  CRASH...  HONK...  HONK...  HONK...
"You cool bro?"
"Eh?  Oh snap.  My mom's car is fck'd.  Let's get the F out of here!"

(What Big Al woke up to during the early hours this Sunday.)

That's what I believe what happened on the early hours of August 10.  Big Al was getting his beauty rest and then at 4:20am he wakes up to a noise of tires screeching, loud thuds and a car horn going off.
(The scene of the crime.  It looks like the guys saw the island, jumped the curb, took out a tree and ended up in the front yard of the corner house.)

It looks like 2 guys were driving a late model wagon/SUV type car and crashed it into my townhouse complex.  After crashing the car into the retaining wall both of the guys fled, leaving their car.

(The island may have startled them in their drunken state, they ended up jumping the curb and then proceeded to go into the wall that protected my neighbor's front yard.)

(It sucks to be my neighbors.  Actually, it sucks to be me.  My HOA fees are probably going up.)

It is unknown whether these guys were drunk or were out joyriding.  It did wake the whole neighborhood.  My guess is that these guys were drunk, they saw the recently installed island, got freaked out and ran up on the curb and into the wall.  More to come as this story develops.


Wednesday, August 06, 2008 

Big Al's entourages grows without him knowing

Daily reader Fuddruckus of just alerted the BigAlsHouse staff that the Big Al entourage just got 1 deeper. This entourage is getting bigger without Big Al knowing. I sorta know how it feels to be Shaun Kemp. The staff would like to congratulate Momma Manders & Papa Fudd. Haven Brarielle popped out of her mom's vagina at July 21 at at 7:10am weighing in at 7lbs 14oz and 20 inches long.

(Big sis Gracelyn & Haven just kicking it.)

Big Al and Papa Fudd plan to purchase guns in the near future. When older sister Gracelyn and Haven start to date, Big Al and Papa Fudd will start to clean their guns as their date's arrive at the front door. No pointing, no bradishing, no holding the gun up sideways and saying "I feel sowwie foh yo mudah.". Just cleaning them in complete silence.

Big Al predicts that during Haven's spare time during her supermodel career she will use her dad's eating talent and become the female competitive eating champion of the world.

Monday, August 04, 2008 

Big Al goes to camp... 49er's camp

Niner Teri hooked it up once again with VIP to a 49er's event. This time she got me into the 49er's last public workout session. I went to one before many years ago. It's a practice. Say it with me, "practice... just practice". It doesn't replace the thrill of gameday, nor does it feed you like a good Sunday morning tailgate.
(Patrick Willis and company line up against the Santa Clara Garbagemen - the newest NFL expansion team.)

I watched about 2 hours of various offensive, defensive and special team's drills then a light scrimmage. I did that as I munched on hot dogs and sloppy joe's while I chatted away with people from Blue Diamond Nuts & Monster Cable in the VIP tent. I did come home with a great bounty. All I can say is that I did get the signature of the starting 49er's quarterback for 2008... whoever that may be. Thanks Niner Teri. You're the best!

(Alex Smith deserves his own mini helmet just because he's was picked #1 overall. Don't disappoint me.)

(In my quest to get the starting QB's signature, I put out a little insurance in case Alex gets benched early. I let Shaun Hill sign his own mini helmet just in case.)

(J.T. O'Sullivan (14), Donald Strickland (30) & Larry Grant (57) don't get the mini helmet love. However, they do get their place on the generic ball of fame.)



Big Al's entourage just keeps on growing

Big Al would like to welcome the newest member of the Big Al entourage: Tyler John.

(Mommy Nicky, Sister Jules & Tyler. Where's daddy Ted? He's beating the crap out of the a guy with a purple and black uniform. I don't know why, but Tyler kinda' looks like the FedEx guy... Just kidding!)

Looks like the big guy came in on Saturday, 8/2/08 at 3:59am. He entered Earth at 7lbs 2oz, 21" long (size of the baby... not his ding-dong).

Big Al would like to congratulate mommy Nicky, sister Jules and daddy Ted. Looks like Ted can now finally live his dream of being a professional athlete through Tyler. At Tyler's size, Big Al's prediction is that Tyler will be a 240 pound fullback. After attending 3 years at Notre Dame, Tyler will come out early to join the NFL elite.

Friday, August 01, 2008 

Big Al sees a fender bender

"Woo whoo fender bender" - The Pips from the Gieco Commercial

(Picture take from the Big Al Chopper.)

I'm typing away at my computer this morning and I hear a car coming to a screeching halt. I look out the window and I see a fender bender. I'm going to place the blame on the green Toyota Camry. It looks like they were going west to east, and they had a stop sign. The cab was going south to north, but they did not have a stop sign. The Camry probably just finished their stop, proceeded into the intersection and saw the cab, but they assumed they were going to stop... then bam!

Regardless who's fault it is, it sucks to be the parked Toyota Corolla. There's a note on the car right now. It probably says something like "Dear Toyota Corolla owner. I just hit your car. I'm writing this note because people think I'm leaving my driver's license and insurance information, but I'm not. I'm smiling at them now. It sucks to be you!"

Have a good weekend!